I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
