There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
