I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
