I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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