I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
