Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
