Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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