i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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