We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
