sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I need moral support for this bender
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
