I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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