she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
