I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
