She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
