No, you can still breathe under the balls.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
