I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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