Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize