is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
