what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
