He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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