please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize