Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
