i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
