she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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