chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize