Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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