do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You need Xanax blowdarts
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
