When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize