my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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