All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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