sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
