what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
