i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
