Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
