Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
