Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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