I am in a vortex of obligation.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
two words...techno handjob
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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