Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
worst night to have a conscience
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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