New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
