i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize