Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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