At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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