this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
