That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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