At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
