Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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