Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
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the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
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So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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