There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
