It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
