She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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