I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...