Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...

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  (732): Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken... http://tfl.nu/8g1q
  Replies (55) Good night (9374) Bad night (1205) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars

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  (678): I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars http://tfl.nu/m106
  Replies (23) Good night (4381) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.

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  (508): i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet. http://tfl.nu/0i59
  Replies (18) Good night (2080) Bad night (2611) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.

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  (773): When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change. http://tfl.nu/eo5m
  Replies (67) Good night (530) Bad night (5747) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page

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  (630): you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page http://tfl.nu/nscl
  Replies (8) Good night (4243) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal

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  (412): I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal http://tfl.nu/ode2
  Replies (66) Good night (2071) Bad night (4394) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night

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  (713): woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night http://tfl.nu/ddwb
  Replies (30) Good night (4596) Bad night (663) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.

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  (732): I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there. http://tfl.nu/dxiw
  Replies (7) Good night (3863) Bad night (1038) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.

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  (407): I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit. http://tfl.nu/vrom
  Replies (13) Good night (1133) Bad night (2500) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.

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  (330): No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/d0l1
  Replies (3) Good night (1971) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  This theraflu would make for a great margarita.

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  I can make a sudafedarita

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  (757): This theraflu would make for a great margarita. (1-757): I can make a sudafedarita http://tfl.nu/10lx
  Replies (5) Good night (1540) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?

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  (719): Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing? http://tfl.nu/0la5
  Replies (2) Good night (1092) Bad night (299) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)

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  (715): If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real. (1-715): I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;) http://tfl.nu/oqj0
  Replies (2) Good night (904) Bad night (191)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.

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  (218): Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off. http://tfl.nu/vd2r
  Replies (7) Good night (975) Bad night (423)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.

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  (859): So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius. http://tfl.nu/kk6i
  Replies (3) Good night (886) Bad night (182)

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