I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink