My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
