i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
