quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
