Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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