can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
