Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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