My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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