She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
