Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
