I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
