If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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