apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Found the puke drawer
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize